Forget Me
by KaydenceRei
Summary: 2009 Secret Santa for teh-Sara! Juliet's thoughts after season 5, we've seen a lot about Sawyer, why not switch it up a bit? A one-shot turned two-shot per request.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**: Alright. I know I've been MIA, but I'd feel horrible if I didn't complete my promise of writing a one-shot for the secret Santa. So here it is!! This one is of course, for **the-Sara**. Merry Christmas!

**Forget Me**:

_Looks like I'm starting all over again,_

_These last three years were just pretend._

-**Michelle Branch**

Pulse racing, heart beat erratic and pain that won't go away. Those were the first things that crossed her mind as she lay wherever the hell she was. She dug her hands into the ground beneath her and slowly got onto her hands and knees before searching around. There was absolutely no doubt about where she was.

She was lying in the exact same spot she had been before she'd decided to detonate a hydrogen bomb with a rock. Only one question rang through her head now, why did the Swan still look like it had before? Why was there still debris and scaffolding over top of her? What was the point in risking everything when nothing appeared to have changed?

Why didn't she feel as though her entire body was broken anymore? Question after question and yet she was getting no answer, no salvation. The pain was lingering but hardly there at this point and finally Juliet managed to force herself to her feet despite the aching throughout her body. There was no way she should be able to stand right now. She shouldn't be alive, yet here she stood at the bottom of a pit.

What was she supposed to do from fifty feet beneath the ground? It took her a moment to find her voice through the shock before she called out. "James!"

Once. Twice. Three times.

No response.

She leaned her back against the dirt wall and felt herself forcing back tears. Then again, what was the point in holding them back? It wasn't as though the scaffolding would chastise her for the tears. Weakness, why was her life such a tragedy? Perhaps Sawyer had been right during a conversation their first year in the 70's. Perhaps her namesake was her downfall... Juliet, a romantic tragedy. The bitter aftertaste of defeat flooded her taste buds.

Dying obviously would have been too easy for the person who wished to torture her so endlessly. "James!!" she cried out, trying just once more and hoping he might be up there to hear her.

It took a moment but she heard noise from above. Maybe someone didn't hate her as much as she'd been beginning to think.

"_You hear that?_"

"_Hear what?_"

Juliet nearly collapsed in defeat. That wasn't Sawyer. It sounded like Horace and somebody else that she couldn't quite place. She couldn't quite decide if it was a good or bad thing that Horace was out here. What if she'd changed things? What if he didn't know her? What if she never saw James again?

She jumped back against the wall when a rope slung down and she noticed rather quickly someone coming down. She huddled down, sitting and hugging her knees to her chest. Almost immediately she felt the tears trying to trek their way down her cheeks and she rested her head atop her knees.

"Jesus..." Richard mumbled, kneeling down carefully and checking her over. As soon as he placed his hand on her cheek and she met his eyes, the look of despair and sadness was like a tidal wave.

Neither of them spoke for a moment, Richard trying to understand how she got down here and Juliet trying to figure out an explanation. In this time she'd only met the man a handful of times on really bad occasions.

After a moment Richard took a better look at the blonde. The dirt that covered her face, the blood covering her hands, the scrapes and bruises. The bruises were the worst, but not as bad the trickle of blood from her mouth. In an instant he could see what happened, the chains were still wrapped around her waist, her legs. He felt sickened and horrified at the thought. "Let's get you out of here..." he stated quietly, carefully removing the chains from around her.

He noticed then she'd yet to budge even a little. "Can you move?" he asked her with uncertainty. Why hadn't he thought of it earlier? She had to be injured.

Instead Juliet nodded her head in response. "I'm.. okay," she stated, taking the hand he now offered her and getting to her feet. She noticed he seemed more than a little bit surprised by it. "Don't ask me… because I don't have an answer, Richard.."

Richard bit his lip and simply nodded. He clipped the jumper to his belt and held onto Juliet before giving the rope a tug. "It would seem to me that you're the only one of your little group left."

Juliet remained silent in response to that statement even as they were pulled out of the hole. It took until Richard and she were back on the ground at the top for her to dare asking the question. "What happened to everyone else..?"

Richard studied her carefully before answering. "They disappeared in a flash of light," he answered honestly.

So everyone but her went back? But had they all started over without her or had they only gone back to their own time, with nothing changed but the year? Suddenly she felt fairly nauseous. She wasn't sure if it was because she'd lost everything now, or if she'd just been feeling adrenaline and she really was more injured then she'd realized. She decided it was likely a mixture. Realization that the man she loved was gone to another place. Realization she'd never see her sister or nephew. Realization that this island would likely be the last thing she saw before she died.

Was anything worth it? Worth the pain, the regret, the horror?

Yes.. it was. Sawyer had been worth it. He'd been worth it all, and in the end it had been _her_ who'd screwed their relationship up, not him. She had tried her damnedest to blame him and yet it was her own insecurities that had brought the demise of their love. He _had_ indeed loved her, she believed that fully now. She had seen it in his eyes as she was hanging from his hand. If he had been the last thing she'd ever seen before she died she could have been happy.

How was she supposed to go on in the past without him around to keep her sane? He was the reason she stayed, and she was the reason he was gone.

"I suppose you can't go back to the Dharma Initiative," Richard stated, studying the blank look on her face. That poker face was pretty wonderful; he had to give the woman props. He'd hardly seen anything like that. "You're free to stay with us, or you can go fend for yourself if you'd prefer."

"Juliet?"

Juliet froze at the voice and turned, staring at Horace.

Horace was in shock at the sight. The blonde he'd known for three years was a complete disaster. Blonde hair caked with mud and blood, cheeks scraped and bruised, the rips her in shirt that showed the chain link bruising on her stomach. Those bruises horrified him the most. Sure, he'd seen the blonde a bit greasy from the motor pool but never this.

"No one's going to hurt you, Juliet," he assured her. "Come back to town with me, you need a doctor."

Juliet shook her head. "He's gone, Horace.."

Horace's frown deepened. Jim, she was talking about Jim. "Gone where?" he questioned. "I'm sure we can find him, just relax.."

Juliet's head shook from side to side, tears finally staining a trail through the dirt on her face.

"Going with Richard isn't the answer," Horace stated, daring to take a step forward. "They've nearly killed you before, it's unwise, Juliet.."

Juliet watched as Richard disappeared into the jungle. He'd left his offer on the table and it was up to her now. She could go with Horace, go with Richard, or just go it alone. "I don't need your help.." she told him, trying to pull the emotion from her voice and failing. "I don't need you, I don't need Richard, James.. nobody," she sputtered out.

Horace was shocked and he couldn't recover fast enough to stop her from running off by herself into the jungle. He tried yelling for her, following, but she'd disappeared.

Juliet trekked her way through the jungle regardless of the pain that was beginning to enter her mindset. As though her mind just caught back up to the injuries to her body. She was close at least; she knew she had to be. But if everyone else was gone, what were the chances they remained? She stopped finally, dropping down to her hands and knees with the feeling that she needed to wretch, yet never doing so.

She took deep breaths before she felt the wetness lap across her face and she turned to stare into the snout of a dog. "Vincent.." she whispered, reaching out and scratching him behind the ears shakily.

"Bernard!!!"

Rose ran quickly to Juliet, kneeling down beside the younger woman. "Sweetie, are you okay?" she asked her, worry etching into her voice.

Juliet couldn't find her voice. She stared up at Rose and felt her vision blurring. The last thing she dared to imagine before she saw darkness was Sawyer's face, the sunflower. "James.." she whispered without realization.

*~*~*~*

When blue eyes opened Juliet smelled tea. She finally dared to turn her head and she saw Rose and Bernard at a makeshift table.

"Ah.. About time you woke up," Rose said softly, padding over to the blonde and sitting down beside her. "You had quite the fever these past few nights since we found you."

Juliet was silent at first. She whispered the first thing she could think of. "James..?"

Rose felt a twinge of guilt. "We haven't seen or found anyone except for you dear.." she told her. For another two weeks that was the first and only thing she'd heard Juliet say since waking up. Occasionally Juliet would wander off but Rose always found her sitting out by the water staring out at nothing.

On the third week Rose took a seat beside her. "This is unhealthy, Juliet."

"Do you think he's happy?"

Rose was shocked into silence for a moment. "Sawyer?"

Juliet nodded.

"That depends," she answered honestly. "If you really did reset them, then I guess he's as happy as he could be in that thing he called a life," she stated. "If they just went back to our time.. and he remembers," she sighed. "I would have to say he's probably as devastated as you are."

"I hope he forgot.." Juliet mumbled.

Rose shook her head. "Don't say that."

"He'll blame himself," Juliet pointed out. "He'll sit around blaming himself when it was me who gave up.."

Rose placed her hand on top of Juliet's. "Is that why you sit around blaming yourself?" she dared to ask. "You believe that this is all your fault?"

"I believe that if I hadn't been so insecure.. we never would have been fighting, he wouldn't have gone back thinking that I hate him.." she whispered.

"He wouldn't think that," Rose assured her. "He knows you love him."

Juliet was quiet now. "I hope he forgot.." she repeated once more.

Rose gave her hand a squeeze before standing and walking away.

**()()END()()**

**Well. That was basically the request.. I think. It was just Juliet's thoughts Post-Season 5. I assumed if Sara wanted a reunion at the end she would have said so :P but if she asked.. maybe I'd give her a New Years present and make a reunion part to add onto this.**

**I'll be back to my stories soon. Finals end on Weds for college.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**: Honestly, I think I've lost my muse for any fluff or my chapter stories. But, out of pure boredom, I came up with this during my lunch break at work.

Since I'd promised a reunion at the end of Sara's Christmas present, and she said she'd like it, I figured I might as well see what I could do. This is probably the last thing I'll write for a while.

**Forget Me**: Chapter 2

_When you wake up on your own,_

_Look around cause you're not alone,_

_Release your high hopes and they'll survive,_

_Cause this is the future and you're alive._

_-**Owl City**_

Truth be told Juliet wasn't sure how long had passed exactly since she'd last seen Rose or Bernard. The last time she'd seen either of them was when she'd explained to Rose that she hoped Sawyer forgot about her. She knew it couldn't have been more then two months. For all she knew, it might have only been one month. Time seemed to move slower when you spent it alone.

To this day she still found Horace searching the area for her. No matter where she went he tried to come after her. She'd even approached him once when he'd been alone. Needless to say it hadn't been enough to deter him. For whatever reason the man was compelled to try and _'save_' her. Unfortunately for him she was compelled to believe that if anymore people tried to _'save'_ her then she probably wouldn't make it out alive the next time.

No. It was much safer to go at this life alone. At the moment she was considering a night where she didn't wake up at least screaming to be a good night. A good night was where the nightmares were only minimal, she'd only wake up in a cold sweat. She wondered if it was true. That you had to face your demons to make the nightmares end.

That was how after 35 days and nights Juliet found herself standing at the destroyed Swan station. She wondered when reconstruction would start. Instead of fully entering the site she stood at the edge, staring from a distance. Courage was something she wasn't entirely sure she could have anymore unless it came from the bottom of a bottle. It was too bad liquid courage didn't quell the nightmares or she would probably be raiding some Dharma booze supplies by now.

She took a step forward but hesitated now, those last moments playing through her mind. Sawyer's hand grasping hers. Now she did step forward, slowing making her way to the giant rabbit hole in the Earth that had swallowed her hopes and left her an empty shell of her former self. She closed her eyes momentarily as she stood at the edge.

Perhaps she wasn't truly alive. Maybe she was in some sort of purgatory. Ever since Richard pulled her out of that dark abyss she'd felt empty, soulless. Did people even truly have souls, she wondered. Or did they simply die, and wander the world on a pathless voyage to infinite unhappiness to repent for all of their sins?

Blue eyes opened, eyes that used to be a bright icy blue now seemed to be a dim gray, like a cloudy sky that's yet to emit rain. But they widened slightly, staring at the bright light coming from the hole. She watched, motionless, following the light as it shot up into the sky. She barely saw Horace running towards her before everything changed.

Where had Horace just gone? If that had been a time flash then it was most certainly different from any that she'd seen before. She froze though, at the sound of a gun being cocked behind her. At least until she heard the one single word that she never thought she'd hear again. And technically, it was only a single word when _he_ said it.

"Sonuvabitch."

She felt an eyebrow raise inquisitively and as she turned slowly she wasn't quite sure what to do. She watched seven people who were staring at her in shock, all slowly lowering their respective weapons. Truth be told she never found 'Sonuvabitch' to be a heart-moving statement until just this moment, yet she couldn't find the willpower to do anything. Not to speak, to move. She remained absolutely silent and still as her eyes roamed the faces of Jack, Kate, Hurley, Miles, Jin, Sun and then back to Sawyer.

Honestly she would have believed she'd simply been sent back to a time during the Survivor's reign on the beach had Miles not been standing among them. When she noticed Sawyer take a step towards her, instinct kicked in and she immediately took a step back, forgetting where she was. She wound up falling into the crater that used to be the Swan. The second Swan, that had been blown up by Locke.

Sawyer froze and stood still. Why would she back away? Either she didn't remember, which was torturous to him, or she was uncertain about what was going on. Either way the purple and yellowish bruises on her arms and face terrified him, as though they'd had time to heal. And her clothes, a black t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans. It didn't make much sense to him. Juliet always told him she hated to wear black, always felt it was too depressing.

Then again. He supposed her love for the magenta tops had probably dropped down below her distaste for black. Perhaps black had suited her current mental state, because as he watched her get back on her feet she glanced at the hole with look that he'd never seen before. He wasn't even sure how to place it, her eyes were uncharacteristically blank. At least, it was a look he hadn't seen since before their time in the seventies. Even as an Other, the emptiness in her eyes never seemed as hollow as they did right now.

He watched as those eyes came back to rest upon him. He couldn't find it in him to speak and he wondered if she could still read him the way she used to. Silence enveloped all eight of them standing there as he watched her eyes ease into a certain gentleness that he recognized. Still, he didn't dare move toward her this time.

Juliet could see it in his eyes. The fear in them, the hope. Hope..

She felt a flicker of hope enter her own heart as she studied him intently. It felt like an eternity since she'd felt anything at all and yet in one moment just seeing him sent an overwhelming bout of emotions through her core. Before she even had a chance to stop herself she felt the tears streaming down her cheeks.

The rest of it happened in a blur, before she knew what was happening Sawyer was directly in front of her and his arms were wrapped tightly around her. It took another moment for her brain to send the message to her muscles, for her brain to allow her arms to wrap around him as well but eventually they did so.

When they were all together later on, after the shock had worn off, they'd finally dared to question her on her survival and where she'd been for the past week. One week for them, thirty five days for her. In truth she didn't know what to tell them. So she told them nothing, that she had no idea what had happened or how she lived.

She had figured it out. It took them a week to face their demons and come to her 'final resting place'. It had taken her 35 days. It didn't matter how long she'd taken to go back to The Swan. It would have been the same results. She could have waited a year, and she still would have shown up only a week later for them. She'd lied of course, if only to save them some grief. Because the truth about the truth is that it hurts, and that of course, is why we lie.

**()()END()()**

**Probably not the most satisfying reunion? I wanted to keep up with the angst of the original plot line to be honest. But hey, a reunion is a reunion.**

**Let me know your thoughts about the writing style. I was testing out writing with minimal dialogue. I know, normally my stories are riddled with dialogue, but this sort of appealed to me.**


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